September 20, 2009 @ 11:50 pm
Let’s call this the Bloomberg Exception. With Bloomberg, it’s instructive to examine what he does and what he says.
For the trial lawyer who knows that a witness has said something in the past that contradicts what he is saying today, the question is:
Sir, were you lying then or are you lying now?
So we ask Michael Bloomberg the same question — most respectfully: Sir, were you lying then or are you lying now?
Let’s begin with his authorized business memoir, Bloomberg by Bloomberg.
Bloomberg has always treated its existing customers at least as well as its new ones. Not everyone else does the same.
These self-promoting words were written in 1997 when Bloomberg had risen to the top of the corporate heap and wasn’t doing politics. Maybe he was just starting to think about it. The book was a kind of public coming out party.
Years earlier, however, some high-level Bloomberg employees presented him with his own words. It was meant as a good natured elbow in the ribs kind of thing, but it was the truth — or it wouldn’t have been funny. The title of the leather bound volume was The Portable Bloomberg: The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Bloomberg .
The book opens with the following quote: Make the customer think he’s getting laid when he’s getting fucked.
We, of course, recognize the wiggle room that might reconcile the two versions of Bloomberg’s business “philosophies.” But the earlier version has the ring of truth; the sanitized one was written for public consumption.
Once they have the facts in front of them, voters, like juries, can make up their own minds. That’s what elections are supposed to be about. The problem, as we all know, is that Bloomberg is overwhelming the court of public opinion with hundreds of millions of dollars in pre-packaged commercials and political technology. He’s rigged the election just as he rigged the term limits override plain and simple.
f you’re reading this, you’re at least getting what most New York voters won’t get — maybe you should pass it on to your friends.
Let’s go to the next quote:
A competitor is a cokehead, womanizing, fag.
What the Bloomberg political and public relations machine does to William Thompson, the only remaining competitor, remains to be seen. Right now, Bloomberg’s political operatives are telling him not to go too negative. It’s too early, there’s no need, and there could be a backlash. Nobody really likes Goliath; they just think they’re stuck with him. But that strategy is likely to change. If the race tightens, as we hope it will, we expect the foulest sort of slanders. Brooklyn congressman Weiner got out of the race because he didn’t want to go through it.
Here’s the next piece of Bloomberg wit and wisdom. It’s a tired old joke.
A good salesperson asks for the order. It’s like the guy who goes into a bar, and walks up to every gorgeous girl there, and says ‘Do you want to fuck?’ He gets turned down a lot — but he gets fucked a lot, too!
Bloomberg has said he’s a super salesman. He is. But we aren’t even customers. Except for a few months every four years, Bloomberg doesn’t care what we think. But for the next month we’re the gorgeous girl and he has needs. The only question is whether you finally turn him down or allow him keep doing to you what he’s been doing to poor and middle class New Yorkers for the past eight years.
Here’s the last quote from Wit and Wisdom:
What do I want? I want an exclusive, 10-year contract, an automatic extension, and I want you to pay me. And I want a blow job from Jane Fonda. Have you seen Jane Fonda lately? Not bad for fifty.
We aren’t prudes. We understand that people say edgy things they don’t mean and tell dirty jokes that aren’t funny. If that’s all there was to it, we’d pass. But Bloomberg has been sued by at least eighty women and by the federal government for sexual harassment and discrimination. He has paid so many women so much money to silence them through confidentiality agreements to make them go away that we’re sure the Jane Fonda thing is the real Michael Bloomberg, the Bloomberg who wants to prove he’s Macho Man. It’s the kind of frat boy, towel snapping kind of thing that his Wall Street cronies revel in.
We’re going to be crude about it but only in the interests of getting some truth out there, penetrating the blanket of BS that he’s trying to put over our heads. The most successful Wall Street stock and bond salesmen –- which is what Bloomberg did for fifteen years -– are referred to as Master of the Universe in polite company, but more colorfully, when they aren’t worried about offending customers, they’re the Big Swinging Dicks. That’s Bloomberg when he isn’t looking for our vote: proving every day to himself and to the world that he’s the biggest swinging dick of all.
We’ve given you only a taste of what he’s said, stay tuned for what he does and what he plans to do — the facts — if he gets away with another four years. And please — pass along to your friends those things that you think they should know.